The Walmart in Parker, Arizona, isn’t very big. Small town, small store. But it attracts RVers from Quartzsite (35 miles away) and people with homes and houseboats along the Colorado River. So the store can get crowded, like today.
The first thing I noticed (after the nearly full parking lot) was approximately 80 percent of the shoppers were old farts like me. Then it hit me: it’s the day after Social Security checks arrive. About half of us retirees get our funds the second Wednesday of the month, which was yesterday. I’m guessing my fellow Thursday shoppers had thought, “It’ll be too crowded on Wednesday. Let’s wait a day.”
A few decades ago I had an interesting taxi ride in Chicago. Traffic lanes meant nothing. Drivers would straddle the lines, swerving back and forth into whichever lane appeared to be moving faster — often into oncoming traffic. That’s what it was like pushing my cart through this small Walmart’s narrow aisles clogged with slow people and those who had stopped to contemplate their product choices. I had to divert into the nearly deserted baby products section for a few moments in order to regain my cool. “Should’ve waited until the afternoon when a large portion of my peers are napping,” I advised myself.
Having finally gathered my seven items I headed to checkout. The line for self-checkout was nine people long (some of them blocking traffic, of course). Rats. So I looked for the shortest cashier line of people with the fewest items. I found one with a woman finishing up a fully loaded cart, and a guy with mostly liquor and cheese puffs.
I don’t want to be agist or sexist, but holy crap, why do little old ladies always take forever to wrap up their transactions? The project manager’s axiom is that the first 90% of a job requires 90% of the effort, and the final 10% of the job requires another 90%. That’s what this was like.
(In my head) C’mon, sister! You’re almost there! Just… just… put the card back in your purse… into the purse… into the… There, now put the purse in the cart and… in the cart… the cart… now push the… No! Don’t check in your purse now! Move out of the lane first! Move! AAAaaaarrrrrgh!!!
I really need to put more forethought into the time I choose to shop. Ugh, people.