Delightfully unexpected

During my last (for a while) few days in the desert I had to deal with bugs that were intent on bugging me. Flies in the day and a variety of nocturnal insects that were drawn to my lights and, most annoying, to my laptop screen.

But now that I’m along the Pacific coast, where all forms of life are more abundant, I’ve been oddly bug free. I was able to walk a narrow path between head-high bushes in bloom without any bugs getting in my face or down my collar. No bites from unseen little vampires. I can have the windows and door open without being invaded by flying or crawling visitors.

I have some ideas why this is the case:

— There are millions of other people to bother

— There’s a greater variety of stuff for them to live on other than me

— There are a greater number of bug-eating predators

— They’ve all gone vegan

— An army of Silicon Valley programmers are constantly debugging things

— The cool damp weather might have them dormant or hiding out

— California might have a law barring unpleasant bugs from pleasant places; a real no-fly zone

— Agribusiness, and Raid-happy non-farmers, have sprayed them to extinction

— They’ve moved to where the cost of living is lower

— They’re all at casting calls for a remake of The Fly

— They’re splattered on the windshields of ceaseless traffic

Whatever the reasons, I’m very thankful for the break.

Flies would drive me nuts when I lived at Lou’s high desert place. “Dudes,” I would tell them, “We’re surrounded by pastures covered in fresh-from-the-oven livestock poo! Eat up! What’s wrong with you? It’s like you’re at a free all-you-can-eat buffet but choose to chew on a napkin! I know your brains are tiny, but instinct alone should have you swarming all over that shit instead of me!”