Lag time

In case you’ve forgotten your astronomy lessons

YAY! Winter Solstice! We’ll get a couple minutes more sunlight each day, and the light will be more direct, therefore more warming.

So, if things are supposedly getting warmer, why are January and February usually the coldest months in the northern hemisphere?

It’s because of a thing called seasonal lag. Come on, Spring, don’t be a slowpoke! Get your ass in gear and catch up with our expectations! Right?

Ah, if only it were that easy. See, the planet is a giant heat sink. The oceans and land soak up heat all summer. Then they slowly release the heat through late summer and autumn. By the end of December the northern hemisphere has nearly run out of warmth. It takes a while for the increasing sunlight to bring things back up to full operating temperature.

But the planet isn’t really to blame. It has no choice, because of astrophysics, thermodynamics, and stuff. We get all cranky about lingering winter because of the calendar we’ve laid atop the natural system.

However, I have a ridiculous solution. We should build a massive network of inter-hemisphere HVAC ducts that send warming air to the cold hemisphere and cooling air to the hot hemisphere. We could call it the Big Blow Job. The ducts could also serve like pneumatic message tubes for humans. Enter a portal in one place and, svoooop-clunk, pop out somewhere else. No more horrible airline seats.

Wheeeeee! Argentina here I come!

Forget all the climate disruption and ecological damage the system would do. It’s a small price to pay for human comfort and the end of confusion about what the temperature should be.

Or we could get all zen about it and throw the calendar away. What day is it? There is only today. When will it get warmer/cooler? When it does.

So today I’ll enjoy the pleasant low desert weather.