The Walmart in Parker, Arizona, isn’t very big. Small town, small store. But it attracts RVers from Quartzsite (35 miles away) and people with homes and houseboats along the Colorado River. So the store can get crowded, like today.
The first thing I noticed (after the nearly full parking lot) was approximately 80 percent of the shoppers were old farts like me. Then it hit me: it’s the day after Social Security checks arrive. About half of us retirees get our funds the second Wednesday of the month, which was yesterday. I’m guessing my fellow Thursday shoppers had thought, “It’ll be too crowded on Wednesday. Let’s wait a day.”
A few decades ago I had an interesting taxi ride in Chicago. Traffic lanes meant nothing. Drivers would straddle the lines, swerving back and forth into whichever lane appeared to be moving faster — often into oncoming traffic. That’s what it was like pushing my cart through this small Walmart’s narrow aisles clogged with slow people and those who had stopped to contemplate their product choices. I had to divert into the nearly deserted baby products section for a few moments in order to regain my cool. “Should’ve waited until the afternoon when a large portion of my peers are napping,” I advised myself.
Having finally gathered my seven items I headed to checkout. The line for self-checkout was nine people long (some of them blocking traffic, of course). Rats. So I looked for the shortest cashier line of people with the fewest items. I found one with a woman finishing up a fully loaded cart, and a guy with mostly liquor and cheese puffs.
I don’t want to be agist or sexist, but holy crap, why do little old ladies always take forever to wrap up their transactions? The project manager’s axiom is that the first 90% of a job requires 90% of the effort, and the final 10% of the job requires another 90%. That’s what this was like.
(In my head) C’mon, sister! You’re almost there! Just… just… put the card back in your purse… into the purse… into the… There, now put the purse in the cart and… in the cart… the cart… now push the… No! Don’t check in your purse now! Move out of the lane first! Move! AAAaaaarrrrrgh!!!
I really need to put more forethought into the time I choose to shop. Ugh, people.
Some Walmarts are open 24 hrs a day, so shopping is easier at night
ReplyDeleteI have not seen a 24hr WM since covid.
DeleteI had a good laugh reading this. Your thoughts are the same as mine while waiting to check out. Then I had to stop and think, could this be me. I’m on my way to Walmart now. I’m going to time myself when checking out.
ReplyDeleteI used to be just as chuffed when, after the final item was rung up, the person in front of me THEN started to LOOK for their checkbook.
ReplyDeleteHowever, lately I press myself to take a beat before I exit to make sure all steps were done. This is because, much to my chagrin, I have on various trips to the store lost: my phone, my receipt with $80, my ATM card and then $800.00 in cash!!!!
Some may say my memory is slipping. I prefer to say it is just too full.
This is hysterical, it truly is unbelievable how long some people take to check out. It simply is not that hard.
ReplyDeleteI don't make fun of old people anymore, I just try and learn.. :-)
DeleteGood grief, Al! I can't believe this is you!!! Are you parodying a New Yorker? When was the last time you HAD to be somewhere?
ReplyDeleteI needed to finish up and get out of the crowd the same way you do.
DeleteOk. I hear yuh now. My bad.
ReplyDeleteI've almost stopped shopping at Walmart. The "experience" is too much and as Walmart has raised prices, the others have lowered theirs; there's not enough diff to make it worth the stress. Still, their Guerilla Tape was $2 cheaper than Harbor Freight.
ReplyDelete