Fortunately, there was a Discount Tire across the street. Also fortunately, they were open on Presidents Day. They would know what to do. And since driving over there on a flat tire would destroy it, they would gladly replace it, thanks to my warranty.
"Oh yeah," said the friendly counter guy at Discount Tire. "We can get that unjammed, no problem."
"We couldn't get it unjammed," said the frustrated tire mechanic an hour and a half later. "You'll probably need to go to a Chevy dealer." It was now 2:30, the nearest dealer was halfway back to Phoenix, and the service department would probably be closed for the holiday, anyway. Also, I needed to be going west, not east. Okay, I'd go to the Chevy dealer in Yuma. Then I could jump over the border to get bargain-priced replacement lenses for my glasses.
But first, go meet up with Jo and Lou near Ajo, Arizona. Chill with them. Let the frustration toxins clear from my system. Be glad this wasn't a serious problem.