Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Lost and found
I panicked, of course. My stuff! My transportation! My home! What will I do?
When I awoke I realized the dream was about losing my nomadic way of life, my independence. Permanently or only temporarily. And, really, it was about losing myself. My self.
I was lost and unhappy the ten years or so previous to becoming a full-time wanderer. But when the concept of van dwelling presented itself, something deep inside shouted, “Yes! That’s it! That’s me! The real me.”
In explaining how I felt out of place in my family, I often say, “If I had learned I was adopted it would’ve explained so much. If I had learned I’d been left by Martians it would’ve explained everything.” Well, vandwelling explained everything. “Yes, of course, that’s who I am.”
There was never any doubt, only logistics to be figured out.
So now, the cancer diagnosis and the treatment that starts tomorrow are just another set logistics. Take care of that stuff and get back to being my true, happy, fulfilled, contented self.