Sunday, May 19, 2019


I had a tube pumping moist, oxygen-rich air at the hole in my throat. On my right arm was an automatic blood pressure cuff that pumped up every hour. On my right index finger was a glowing pulse measurer. My left arm was connected to the IV machine. Around both shins were inflating-deflating cuffs to prevent blood clots. And all over my torso were connections to the EKG monitor. I felt like I was caught in a spider web. Moving the slightest bit required intricate choreography. Using the commode required technical assistance.

When I whined to Dr. Hu about the lack of mobility, he said, “I don’t think we need all this. Let me see what I can do.”

Now I’m completely disconnected. Just me, the tracheostomy, some warm socks and the stupid “robe.” I’m much happier. And less whiney.


  1. When I have dreams/nightmares? Anything that is constricting in any way I tell myself...Wake yourself a UP Curt now! Sometimes it works and when it does I say atta boy; crisis averted.

  2. Congratulations on a lack of complications. I will be rooting for you every day.

  3. Since you are not using a catheter ask them for some elastic waist scrub pants. You can manage to slip those down with little effort if you need to use a bed pan. Then you can have the opening to the gown in the front for easier access to the breathing apparatus. Sometimes health care workers don't bother to think outside the box.