Self-surgery

I get skin tags once in a while. (I think it's proof I'm related to Morgan Freeman.) The latest skin tag developed just below my right eye. Usually, when a tag is small, I can twist and pull on it until it comes off. This one was stubborn. It grew to about the size of a sesame seed. Rather than go to a dermatologist, who would charge me a hundred bucks for two seconds of work, I decided to get rid of the tag myself.

The location of the tag was problematic. I had to take off my glasses in order to get at the tag. But without my glasses, I couldn't see what I was doing very well. I fumbled along anyway.

My surgical implements

A few years ago I had mangled a knuckle with a power tool and needed stitches. They gave me the scissor, forceps and such they used to patch me up. "Hey, you paid for them and we aren't allowed to reuse them, so..."

I got out the emergency room scissor (less chance of accidentally cutting something else than with a scalpel) and an old tweezer (because it would be easier to use with my "wrong" hand). I set up my mirror, dipped my surgical tools in alcohol, grabbed the skin tag with the tweezer, pulled it, judged the best I could with my blurry vision that I had all the tag and none of my face, brought the scissor up against the tip of the tweezer and... snip. Done. Only a tiny, quick bit of pain (there aren't many nerve endings in a skin tag). I dabbed on some Neosporin and all was good. Today there's just a red dot where the tag used to be. It will heal up quickly.

I think I'll charge myself $300. One hundred for the surgery, fifty for the scissor, tweezer and antiseptic, and one hundred-fifty for the house call.