Saturday, May 11, 2019

Update

Well folks, here’s the deal with my throat. The mass shown in the CAT scan is a stage 4 tumor on the base of my tongue. Surgery would mean removing the tongue and probably vocal cords. No one wants that, so it’s radiation and chemotherapy for me.

First they’ll do a tracheostomy—making a hole in my throat and inserting a breathing tube—so I won’t suffocate when the tumor swells from radiation treatment. That’ll be done in Tucson. It means a week in the hospital, part of it so they can train me on using and maintaining the trach tube.

A van in the boonies is a bad place to deal with cancer treatment. Even though a patch of land with a partially built house is slightly better, Lou’s place is inconvenient to medical care. So during the six weeks of daily radiation and chemo, I’ll be staying in Los Angeles with my former wife who is still my dear friend. She has cared for cancer patients before; first her mother and then her father. Also, if I need to feel like crap, I’d rather feel like crap somewhere with beaches.

So… my glorious nomadic life is on hold. It might even be over. I’ve said many times I don’t want to live in a building ever again, but, you know, it doesn’t always work out that way.

I’ve also said that if I was ever faced with something like cancer and the inability to live the way I wanted I would just go out in the desert and shoot myself. But the survival instinct insists I don’t do that. I argued with it and we came to an agreement that I would do the therapy and see how it goes, then reassess the situation later.

I’m lucky. I have supportive friends and family. I have Medicare. And I’ve had at least seven years as a free man wandering the country, experiencing amazing and beautiful places. If I had contracted cancer while still stuck in my old life, a cog in the system, I would be angry and resentful and I’d feel like my life was a waste. But I don’t. I’m at peace with life. I’m contented. If this new adventure turns for the worst (and it eventually does for all of us) so be it.

If you have a bucket list, if you've been wanting to change your life, do it. No one assessing their life wishes they had spent more time in a rut.

20 comments:

  1. Sending love, hugs, and positive thoughts to you Al.

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  2. Brave on my friend and know we are thinking of you.

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  3. Hang in there, this to shall pass.

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  4. Oh man,I was hoping for better than this. All of us out here in nomad land will be pulling for you.

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  5. I, too, will be thinking of you. Your blog is a regular part of my life. Al.

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  6. Damn! Some life changes are not as good as others. I hope this one goes well for you and you find yourself back on the road before you know it.

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  7. Best wishes and hopes for your treatment.

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  8. I am sorry that you have this trouble and wish you the best. Your head seems to be working properly about the future. As my blog says at the header DON'T WAIT. DO IT NOW. You are making good choices it seems to me.

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  9. Best healing thoughts to you! So sorry you have to go through this. I really love your blog, I think its a great contribution to the nomad community.

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  10. I am so glad that you have a caring friend to be with while you go through treatment. Being near the ocean will be a big help to your spirit.

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  11. So sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself. Sleep unabashedly. We'll wait for you. No pressure.

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  12. Sending positive thoughts your way..Take care...Dang-it, the world spins in strange ways...

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  13. All of the above, including me, will warmly watch your blog Al, anxiously awaiting for good news. My tires are turning for ya Al.

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  14. I try to read your blog every day for it's honesty and humor. I wish you the best as you fight the good fight.

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  15. Thanks for keeping us up-to-date, Al.

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  16. We’ve never managed to meet up but I enjoy your blog and learn from your adventures. Best wishes to you and I’m glad the beach will be close.

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  17. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. I will be praying :)

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