A mystery

As an introvert, I don’t understand how extroverts can throw themselves into a group of strangers and start making friends. It’s even harder to understand why they would do that. Because one of the main sources of anxiety for introverts is if we make the effort to expand our social circle, if we go meet new people, we’ll end up in the orbit of someone we discover we don’t like. Someone who wants to be our friend. Someone we wish would go away and leave us alone.

What do extroverts do in that situation? Does extroversion include the innate ability to tell undesirables, “Sorry, I don’t want to be your friend?” Does the extrovert’s entourage close ranks and block the persona non grata? Is it just a vibe they give off?

Most of the friends I’ve made since becoming a nomad are introverted to some degree. We have interests in common, we share world views and, most importantly, we understand each other’s need for alone time. I slowly expand my circle of friends through my existing friends. If they like someone, I probably will too. It’s sort of a pre-qualifying filter that eliminates those I’d end up running from. Or wanting to punch in the face. (Introverts can become violent—or at least very cranky—when cornered.)

A friend once postulated that everyone becomes less social with age, because we just don’t want to put up with everyone’s crap anymore. Life is too short. So while old fart extroverts might not transform into authentic introverts, they could become sufficiently introvert-ish to be accepted as honorary members of the club.